My first night in Bangkok

My first night in Bangkok was absurd. I woke up this morning unable to see straight with a mouth like an ash tray. Im quickly learning that the locals must be respected....not a good idea terrorising them with a Super soker 5000 I found in the guest house then. Oriental booze flows and the many travellers gravitate toward one another in search of japery and folly. I bump into a Manchester couple who are leaving for home tomorrow. She makes a pun about The Hilsborough Disaster...strange ice breaker I thought? but they were okay. In fact we had a very amusing couple of hours with the aforementioned water pistol. She kind of ruined it though when she suggested we should have a threesome, much to the surprise of her boyfriend. I was entirely game ofcourse, game as a badger in fact, so long as I didnt have to touch his balls or anything, but I knew there was no chance he would let me get my hands on his pretty little partner so I bought them a shot and made an awkward but swift exit.

I find myself in a bar on an all conquering winning streak at the pool table. I've assumed the role of pantomime villain, mocking losers and goading challengers. Ive won eight in a row; I[m feeling strong. Irish nice guys and Thai prostitues get the same treatment in this Andy Kauffman-esque display. My curated arrogance knows no discrimination but the whores really hate me.

After suffering a loss to what I think was a lady boy, or atleast thats what Im telling myself, save losing to a woman, I stagger to my drink at a nearby table. My fans have left and the local girls refuse to speak to me, theyre not buying into my explanation that it was all theatre. I dont think they got it but I was amused. I stumble out of the bar and there[s Aussie Paul from hours earlier...where did you go maite?...well I kinda backdoored you when you started talking about secret American bunkers in Mexico. He was a pretty sound guy to be fair but there was no drink left in me. It was time for bed. I live and learn in this far away land and I look forward to tomorrow.