I recently purchased the North West edition of 'The Loot', a regional advertising weekly, in search of a potential flat or house tenancy. Innocent enough. Upon reading I became increasingly suspicious of a particular sector marketing in the publication. Adverts for massage parlours were large, numerous and of a markedly sexual orientation. You needn't be a genius to make the obvious associations here.
Perhaps if I quoted some of the rhetoric featured in these ads, you may better understand my astonishment. 'Cheshire Catz, under new management. We look forward to getting our claws into you!'; 'Pussycats Massage Parlour...Discreet rear entrance, free parking'; 'Bailey's of Rochdale...three lovely ladies available daily....Adult DVD's and Dance Pole on premises'. Now forgive my facetiousness but what could a dance pole possibly have to do with holistic therapy? I don't remember Stavros down the old Greek Baths requiring any metallic poles for his routine? Thats because Stavros was offering massages and not fellatio, or any other services which intend to arouse the penis.
The overtness of these marketing campaigns are quite incredible. The sexual innuendo involved is blatant, the visuals which accompany them scandalous. One parlour's advert features a woman grabbing her own tit. I mean come on!? Some of the lesser established 'masseurs' are freelance, women evidently offering an independent, mobile service. Their marketing approach is even less subtle. Take an add I found this week in the Personals section of the 'Buy and Sell' (you may note I expanded my research here); 'LADY 4 in/out calls. 07500*****0'. 'LADY', doesn't even specify any professional service here, remarkable.
Many suggest that the Police come in for too much flak, that they have a difficult job to do, but I have to disagree in some respects. Given, they face a difficult task in policing the mischievous and sometimes deranged inhabitants of our odd little country. However glaring opportunities for criminal investigation, such as this, make me wonder what the CID actually do all day? All of the mobile 'masseurs' leave their phone numbers for fuck's sake, has nobody down the Metropolitan HQ seen an episode of The Wire? The Force are either gravely out of touch with the real world or some high commissioner of the Vice Squad is getting his palm greased handsomely. Either way, its pretty awful Police work.
The whole episode provokes broader questions for me, notably; why the hell do they not just legalise prostitution? We all know that it goes on, and will go on, regardless of the laws. Where there are old/ugly/socially inept men with erections, there will be prostitutes. Each year that passes without a relaxation of the laws, I scratch my head that little bit harder. What exactly are the cons' of this argument again? Legalising prostitution would bring in a much needed source of revenue for the taxman and simultaneously drive the heinous criminals out of the trade, who in many cases enslave their female workers. Legalisation would also serve to humanise the sex workers, and help them to shake off problematic domestic circumstances which seem to accompany illegal prostitution, such as drug and physical abuse. And without intending to ram the point home, legalisation would make the trade cleaner, as any prospective worker would have to comply with health regulations. Win, win, win.
However, as per usual, our government moves slow on the issue, unlike our American, and many of our European counterparts, where you can get a hand job in a major city as easy as you could find a bicycle pump. It would probably be easier actually. The prudish stiffs in Westminster are still living in an idealised time where sex is the domain of the courted and young people should go out and get an honest trade. Wake up and smell the 'essential' oils!
Here, prostitution remains confined to classified ad magazines (or should I say unclassified ad magazines?) under secretive guises (or should I say remarkably non secretive guises?). This facade cannot go on for much longer. Perhaps I should take Gordon Brown and his cabinet down to 'Cheshire Catz' myself, see if I can open their eyes for them, show them what is going on here. I wonder if the trip would have an adverse effect on Mr Brown's career though? Well Of course it would, bystanders would see their Prime Minister leaving a fucking brothel.
No comments:
Post a Comment