An alternative, yet still productive, to do list...

- Turn alarm clock onto radio alert, as opposed to war time siren mode.
- Write abusive letter to the grey haired shitfuck of a bus driver at ARRIVA who arrived 5 minutes early last Tuesday when I was 20 yards from the stop. Prick.
- Refrain from staying up ridiculously late for no reason at all.
- Buy some edible, perhaps even imaginative cereal, as opposed to the dusty fuck flakes currently residing in the cupboard.
- Tie Alan Titschmarsh's shoe laces together...if only in the mind.
- Dream some more of travelling around Europe living on berries and stolen bread.
- Commence the growing of a moustache, not a pretentious one, but a 1980'sesque, square working class one.
- Ask that lovely waitress out.
- Clean that drawer which has been dishevelled and disorganised for far too long. Feel satisfied.
- Write a poem.
- Head butt obnoxious, staggeringly judgemental local shopkeeper.
- Buy some batteries.
- Take all those pennies to the machine in the front of ASDA; collect £7.37.
- Go and look for a dog down at the RSPA; take home a weathered but charismatic old fella.
- Finally get round to polishing those shoes and restore them to their former glory.
- Buy a Daim bar.
- Book a flight headed for Biarritz in the summer.
- Reflect upon a subtly pleasing week.
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