The art of existence

Anybody that tells you life is a chore is an idiot. Of course life can be a 'bitch', as you may have read on a god awful t-shirt at some point. It can be sad and cruel, real fucking ugly sometimes, but there is so much richness also, to be embraced and experienced, if people would only look for it.

Some people are genuinely unable to enjoy life's riches to a degree because of circumstance; be it illness, poverty, or some other injustice. For the severely unfortunate, life can be extremely trying I imagine. Take Fritzl's daughter for example; now that is what you call a raw deal. However the vast majority of men and women don't have such problems to contend with. It seems to me that there are people who actively choose a life of drudgery. Plenty of folk accept mediocrity; or worse in some cases; making themselves content with a gritty, often foul tasting realism. I'm not saying that we all should pretend we're awoken by butterflies in the morning, or that the world is even a nice place. But circumstances must be contended with and I firmly believe there are opportunities for happiness all around us, there to be reached for.

'Life is what you make of it' is an old adage, with a large degree of truth to it if you ask me. I don't want this BLOG to resemble something penned by Dr Phil but sometimes you need to think about these old sayings and process them in order to appreciate the rhetoric. How can a person expect to find real happiness if they never go looking for it? Unless you live on the Cococabana of course (you'd be a fool not to be happy around all those big Brazillian arses). I look around here and I see a lot of frustrated faces; grotty teenage mums pushing prams about, labourers tired from long exhausting days, old people cursing themselves for not fulfilling dreams. I feel sorry for them man but they only have themselves to blame. They should have made more of an effort. I reckon that most people who are unhappy, which is a significant number, could lead rich, fulfilled lives, if they just tried harder to make themselves happy. For me its all about having the right mindset and being decisive, and not waiting for your real life to begin.

It may take a momentous effort to find happiness; an emigration say, or a bold professional leap. In other cases happiness may not be as far away as first anticipated. Either way, it needs to be seeked out. Happiness is not something that happens all by itself. It needs to be constantly worked for, and when found constantly worked at, attended to frequently like a pristine bowling green. People who stay put in bad circumstances make me want to flush my own head down the toilet. Why don't you just leave that dick of a boyfriend? Quit that shitty job? Move to that new city? Do what is required to make your life better and more enjoyable, don't just wait there like a fool for something or somebody to come and save you. Nine out of ten times it wont happen.

The prized cultural theorist Michele Foucault described an 'art of existence' in one of his final interviews, suggesting that life should be viewed as a canvas for the individual to paint upon. What an outlook. Living should be a creative process where each day is viewed as an opportunity to enjoy, and better oneself. Read that book, buy that jacket, take that course. It is important to try new things in order to develop as a person. Why not view your life as a work of art; get imaginative. Better than viewing your life as a battle for survival.

Life is too short to regularly do things that you don't want to, too short to spend time with people you don't like, too short to be someone you don't want to be. Too many people seem incapable, or unwilling, or even worse, scared to resist the lives that have been presented to them, often local lives of little meaning or significance. I realise that not all of us can be professional mavericks or social bonvivant's. Toilets are always going to need cleaning, buses will always need driving. I get that. But it seems people fall into the doldrum's without so much as a yelp. It's as though people get to a certain age and believe themselves to be powerless to change things. They miss the starting gun and give up.

In correlation with Foucault's positive thinking, Oscar Wilde spoke of the individual's ability to recreate himself, and of the possibilities of self creation. His writings suggest that people can basically become whatever they want; so long as they develop and apply themselves they can transgress. Good news for all you bin men out there. If life is indeed a chore at the moment make it not so, because it doesn't have to be. Living is not something to be endured.

It may be that your endeavours turn out to be in vain, you may not succeed as you had hoped, your dreams may not come true. However there is definitely happiness to be found in pursuit. It may be a small change that enlightens you; the purchase of a camera; volunteering at a charity shop; the joining of a book club. If you feel seriously down trodden and think the world needs to change and not you, read into politics, become an activist, go protest. The possibilities are genuinely endless.

Don't be a passenger in your own life and let fine experiences pass you by because you don't feel your 'such' a type of person to do 'it', or that 'something' isn't 'you'. All instincts and inclinations should be seriously considered. Why not take some time to think about what it is that is going to make you happy? Then act accordingly. I guess its a question of whether you are content with your life. But if your reading this and it sounds painfully familiar, to the point where tears are making the letters on your keyboard stick together...well then I feel sorry for you. You must realise that currently you are not living at all, you are merely existing.

Jimmy Carr is a fraudulent cock

Let me tell you why, upon reflection, I wouldn't wipe my arse with Jimmy Carr. Let it be known why I find him to be one of the most overrated, repugnant personalities to have ever occupied my television screen. Here we have a comedian who professes to champion 'edgy' comedy. A comedian who proclaims to push the boundaries with his stand up routines, to be a distinctive artist in his chosen field. He'd like you to think that he is a liberal, laid back, 'hip' person; an interesting character. Surely, anyone famous, who says such offensive, politically incorrect thing's must be, right? Wrong. Jimmy Carr is the most boring, tedious, fraudulent character in the history of stand up comedy. The man has absolutely no substance.

Lets start with his routines. He gets up on stage and spews out a series of rehearsed insults and cheap one liners at the audience. It is repetitive, spiritless shit. Any person with a half creative persuasion and a degree of confidence could write and deliver this drivel. His anecdotes are formulaic and crude, most of his subject matter would be considered immature for high schoolers. His observations are obvious, his tone is annoying, and most of his puns are suspiciously familiar.

Not in my life time but lets just say, these jokes that he tells, hypothetically, you found some of them funny. Do you think they have anything to do with Jimmy Carr's actual life? Do you feel that they reflect this man's existence at all? Of course they don't. I wouldn't be surprised if Carr secretly trawls the country in disguise, sitting in pubs with a pen and paper (and a black current the boring cunt), stealing these puns from other people.

The man is so separated from his comedy its startling. His material is undoubtedly offensive; his joke about the dead soldiers in Iraq testifies this point. But do you think Jimmy Carr is an offensive person? Is he fuck. I don't think the man could offend a troop of Saint Spyridon nun's with his most 'outrageous' personal story. If Carr was actually a chauvanist, or actually a sexist, or actually a racist, as his jokes would suggest, I would have more respect for him. Not because I would be appreciating the sentiment in his material, but at least he would be getting up on stage and presenting himself, and would be displaying some degree of actuality. The man that stands before you is a con, a mere shell of a person who alludes to being something but is actually not that at all. I wouldn't be surprised if he got up in the morning, looked in the mirror and didn't recognise his own face. Then again, could anyone really fail to identify those stupid eyebrows and ridiculously fat cheeks?

From a stand-up comedian you want truth. You want the man or woman on stage to bear their soul, their inner most thoughts. You want to hear their perspective on the world. I get the feeling that Jimmy Carr would say anything to get a laugh. Richard Pryor, Stewart Lee, Bill Hicks; great comedians who have had something substantive and truthful to share, who have illuminated their audiences with personal stories, grand ideas and enlightening insights...and then you have Jimmy Carr; "Gypsy's smell." What a wanker.

From what I can deduct, the problem is that Jimmy Carr has nothing to actually bear. His take on the world is completely rational and conservative, lacking any real colour or quintessence, and therefore if he was to get up and tell us his truth, we would all be pretty unimpressed. I've seen him interviewed on a variety of talk shows, it's all shallow quips and regurgitation's of his on stage material. The man has nothing to actually say. So what the jug eared prick does is hide behind a comedy facade; immature, removed from real life jokes, that are technically sound, but lack any authenticity or intellectual value. The degree of the man's success in our country and across the pond expertly demonstrates how low intellectual awareness has fell both here and their. Critics have actually given this fella five star ratings. Now that is offensive.

Lets hope that one day Jimmy Carr actually finds his real identity and realises that he is a charlatan, that he has been all along, and retires to an arm chair, reading the daily mail and combing his ponsey hair in between tightening the strings on his tennis racket. He best do so soon before everybody realises what a fundamentally limited fuckhead he actually is.

The curious nature of 'Mother Nature'

People in general need to stop referring to 'Mother Nature' as though she is some forlorn, incontnent grandmother who can no longer look after herself. For 'Mother Nature' is in fact an irrepressible, impervious entity, without regard for the concern, or the non-concern, of humans for her.

If nature is indeed a 'Mother' at all, she is an aloof parent, unimpressed with and uninterested in the behaviours of her narcissistic children. The title 'Mother Nature' assumes that this planet's natural physical system actually cares about us, that Earth itself has a paternal instinct to accommodate humans and make sure we're okay. Why would this be so? I wonder if the dinosaurs thought the same?

Nature shouldn't be romanticised. Chirping Blackbirds in your back garden or Wild Oryx running in the Serengeti, as lovely as they are, do not represent nature. Nature is cold and callous and unforgiving. Not to be trifled with. Nature shouldn't be thought of as an old generous friend either. Spuds weren't put in the ground with you in mind. An apple tree, a mountain, a dairy cow or any other organism which may provide you with nutrients or shelter is not a personification of nature either, not inserted by mother herself for your benefit. 'Mother Nature', is a term best used to describe the way of the universe and all its phenomona. 'She' is a complex labyrinth who transcends the material world and exists largely independent of human activity. Yes, we are a part of nature, as is the apple tree and the Wild Oryx, but 'Mother Nature' is over and above all individual things, and doesn't give a fuck about you to put it frankly.

Nature, or 'Mother Nature' for want of a better analogy, is an absolute and unwavering physical force, with no predetermined or comprehensible path. 'She' is not the boundless provider of the homosapien or the puppet master conducting the show. However nature has indeed been good to humans, it does and always has provided us with the resources to survive. However to think that this is some intentional circumstance, bestowed eternally upon us would be perverted. When humans are no longer aligned with Earth's disposition, 'Mother Nature' will not be sentimental. We will be decimated, removed like a paralytically drunk teenager in a night club. Unless we find some means of self sufficiency of course-but I cant see that happening, given that millions of humans die annually from poverty and famine in an amply provided for world.

So given that nature is so mighty, when nature's 'delicateness' is described I find it peculiar. The word of most activists would have you think that nature is fragile. It isn't. What is fragile, are the current natural conditions on Earth which are preferential to man; the temperate climate; the abundance of water; the high levels of natural resources such as vegetation, wood and gas etc. All the things which allow for a comfortable human existence are extremely fragile and susceptible to change and it seems human beings are doing their upmost to do just that.

Man is having a good run on Earth. It seems he is having his way at the moment. His achievements in technology and science, his manipulation of nature in general has made him feel strong. But just like a drug lord controlling his territory, full of his own self importance and believing his own impenetrability, a time will come when circumstances are no longer preferable for him, when conditions become out of his control and overcome the bastard. For it is natures law that nothing lasts for ever; except seemingly nature itself.

It cannot be denied that the actions of humans are influencing natures course. Man's evolution and subsequent intelligence has enabled him to do so, but how he has misused his capabilities. Mass deforestation, the plundering of the planet for materials, the pollution of Earth's atmosphere; all very deplorable and so stupid that it may make you question Darwin's evolutionary theory in the first place. Those who do not recognise man's mistreatment of nature are dangerously deluded. Those who do not see environmental harmony on Earth for as long as worldly possible, as a priority of man, are terribly mistaken. For it is in man's best interests to remain on good terms with 'Mother Nature'. Man should be placating her, accomodating her in every possible way, doing his upmost to secure her favourable services for as long as is attainable. Not the opposite. The way in which man continues to sabotage his nigh on perfect environment, given the great knowledge that he possesses, is bordering on insane.

The irony of it all is that 'Mother Nature' does not care. Not about any of it. Passionate, if fantastical, green lobbyers speak of retribution and vengeance in store for humans, but this is just a fallacy. 'Mother Nature' does not care about the melting ice caps, or dying Polar bears, the levels of CO2 which could eventually suffocate humans, or the rising sea levels which could eventually drown us. 'She' doesn't care whether the land is covered in grass or sea in the future, or sulphuric dust; or little pink frogs riding around on tricycles for that matter. 'She' just continues unperturbed, moving forward, trudging along as she always has.

For 'Mother Nature' is not a thoughtful, conscious being, with regard for the creatures 'She' has wielded. When the day of reckoning comes for man, his triumphs and achievements as well as his mistakes and misgivings will vanquish into orbit just like any of his physical elements, and 'Mother Nature' will not smile or cry or stand still, she will just continue as though we were never here.